Deepish Secrets.

If you have heard of Post Secret, you'll know what I'm doing...if you haven't heard of post secret, google it. I thought I would share some secrets, although they are not so deep. The deeps ones aren't for sharing on blogs because, well, they're really good.

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I still sleep with the peach colored, silky pillow case pillow I've had since I was 5. If I don't have it, I can't sleep at all. It is the most comforting thing I own that makes me feel at home.

I'm terrified I'll live my life to only half the potential that I could. I don't want to miss a single thing and I'm so scared I'll wake up when I'm 90 and be like...dang.

I am super terrified of getting old. I'm very terrified of Alzheimers.

I love my life. I love it. I don't want it to stop. Ever. I love the people in my life. I love the challenges I have in front of my, and the adventures, and the excitment, and not knowing where life will take me. But I want to pause time right now because I love my life and I'm scared if it keeps going, before I know it, it'll be done. I love living.

I still get scared of the dark. Sometimes I sleep with a light on.

I am not a dumb blonde. In high school and my first year of college, most people, my friends, teachers, everyone, thought I was the dumb girl who luckily was kinda cute or else she would never get anywhere in life. I'm not dumb. Joke is on you, I totally played that up. I didn't fake it, but I thought that was who I was supposed to be. I was the shy girl who's friend's ditched her in middle school, the one that the popular girls laughed at because she loved to read and got straight A's and didn't have name brand clothes and had never read a beauty magazine or kissed a boy. I had glasses and acne and braces all at once and wore sandals with knee high socks. So once I was in high school, got rid of the braces, highlighted my hair, got contacts, bought pretty clothes, and had boys asking me out, I stopped caring about school and getting straight A's because I didn't want to get made fun of and laughed at by the popular, pretty kids. I did not want to be the weird, zit-faced, school-obsessed, lame geek. I wanted to be the fun, easy-going, care-free, non-book-nerd who was always with friends doing something. Someone heard something silly I said, thought I was a ditz and told everyone else that I was. Once you hear something about yourself enough times, especially when you're 15 and vulnerable and want to fit in and be liked more than anything, you start to believe what they say. And if people like you like that, why change? So I figured I was a ditz and that I was kind of stupid and that I had to be that way or else I'd be the friendless geek I was tortured as in middle school. So, I had friends, I had fun, I said stupid things and people laughed. I still had A's & B's in all my classes though, which should have made it obvious I wasn't stupid. That is far from who I was and who I am. I wasn't myself at all back then. I wish I would have been myself and wish that I wouldn't have cared so much about what people thought. Thank goodness for growing up and figuring out who you are and for realizing people are all big idiots.

I can't cook. I hate cooking. I can't even peel potatoes. I just...hate cooking.

I have never wanted to be the little wifey type of girl. I'll never be that kind of 1950's Cleaver mom/wife. Bleh.

I am not a Molly Mormon.....and I'm very, really, a lot of glad I am not.

I may be addicted to food.

When I read books, I imagine myself as the leading lady.

When I watch movies, I think how much better I could be in that role.

I've always wanted to be a movie star.

I still cry in Disney movies. Sometimes even in heartfelt commercials.

I've had my kids' names picked out since I was 14.

I gag when I see someone drinking milk.

I gag when I do the dishes.

I gag when I brush my teeth.

I am scared of fish.

Know-it-alls and self-centered and narrow-minded people drive me crazy. Ew.

Marriage used to scare me out of my mind, until I decided I didn't want a huge reception. Now I can't wait to be married.