What Ifs, Change, and Life is Beautiful...

There are only 2 weeks til I move and start my new adventure! I am feeling a little bit of everything....I'm nervous, scared, excited, happy. I wonder if I'll like the new city I'll be living in. I wonder if I'll like the new people I meet. I wonder if I'll like my new job. I'm scared I will get lost. I'm scared I will miss my favorite people here. I'm scared I won't make any friends. I'm terrified I'll miss the life I had here, much too much.

I've been thinking a lot about change lately. I have decided to ultimatly love change. I think a lot of people are scared of change because of the "what-if's". What if this and what if that. And when we "what-if" we always "what-if" the worst case scenario. Instead of thinking what if people hate me or what if I hate this or what if I die in a freak gasoline accident the first time I fill up with gas in Utah, why not change the what if thinking to the best case scenario?

What if I make lifelong friends? What if I grow so much as a person that I become exactly who I want to be? What if I meet new favorite people? What if I get opportunities I never could have dreamed of where I was before? What if I learn new things? What if I get to where I have always wanted to be? What if I find everything I've always wanted?

Thinking the best case "what-if's" make changes, and life, so much less terrifying than the worst case "what-if's". Change is a scary thing. But it doesn't have to be scary. If you start with small changes in your life, even if it's just changing the side that you part your hair, you'll make a big difference in how you feel.

Sometimes, actually, almost always, change is for the better. It may be difficult at first, and scary, but most always it turns into such a blessing. If we always stayed the same, I don't think we could be truly happy. Think of how a new hair cut makes you feel. Thats a change. Or how changing your outfit everyday makes you feel. If we were stuck with the same thing continually, we wouldn't grow, realize what we like or who were are, and I don't think we would be very happy. We'd be boring, dull, and act like robots.

So, what if I had gotten married? Would I have had this chance to grow, change, and become a better person? Probably, but it would have been a different change, I would have missed this opportunity I have right now. I would have been a wife, instead of a single girl, going through other changes. I would have had to learn something else, and I don't think I could have fully changed the way that I want to now. This moment, right now, I'm going through exactly what I need, to grow, to become better, to put my life in perspective, and make changes in those areas that I'm not completely satisfied with. Sometimes change is like a slap in the face, but if we wake ourselves up, look at our lives, we get chances to change for the better.

Would I have had the chance to grow as an independent woman if I had gotten married? Doing things for myself? Saving my own money, taking care of me, and would I have had the chance to become who I wanted to become individually? No.

Not getting married has been the biggest life change that I have experienced so far. My whole life changed, just like it would have if I HAD gotten married. Only this was a change in the opposite direction. It was a blessing in disguise.

The first few weeks of this change were a bit hard, but now I can only see it as a blessing. I am so excited for the new adventure my life is about to bring. I have butterflies to see what the future has in store for me. I even have this new found love and gratitude for life; I feel like I'm seeing it with new eyes. I'm going to soak up every second, good or bad, and love it.

My life story is happening now. I'm not going to wait til I get married to be happy. I'm not going to wait til I'm done with school to be happy. I'm not waiting til I'm rich and famous to be happy. I'm being happy now. Life may throw curve balls and I may not be able to catch them all, but I'm going to enjoy trying.

I don't want to be 99 and think to myself "what-if I had done this" or "what-if I had done that". I'm going to face life with an optimistic and glass half full attitude. I am going to make the best of every situation. What is life if you're always thinking the worst what if scenario? I don't think it would be very enjoyable. Look for the good in all situations. Laugh instead of complain when something goes wrong. Instead of getting mad and groaning, "why me?!" why not think "I'm going to learn so much from this" and try to see who you can become as you rise up above the blues.

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, discouraged, mad, or scared. But why let that keep you from enjoying your life? Tell those feelings to keep their mouth shut, and find strength that is there, to overcome fears that hold you back. You're stronger than you think you are.

Self pity, doubt and unhappiness can cloud your mind and make you think all is wrong and can give you reason to be miserable. If you choose to live your life THAT unhappy, then go ahead and do it. But why not try to take trials head on, smiling, asking "is that all you've got?" Life isn't meant to be horrible. Its meant to be full of joy and laughtern and happiness. If you look for the good in others, in each situation, and try to grow from your experiences, life takes on a whole new meaning and your world is seen in a whole new light. Make the situation and experience you are given the best it can be. It may not be what you would have chosen if you were given the choice, but somethings are out of our control. You'll be okay and time will take the sting off things. Make it the best it can be, for the situation it is, look for ways to be optimistic, and you'll be able to grow like you never thought possible.

I've been through a lot. It may not seem like I have, but believe me, I can say I've had my fair share of soap-opera moments in my life. And each of them has made me who I am today, I'm even grateful for them. Without them I wouldn't know what makes me happy, what I want to do in life, and I really honestly wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't have learned the lessons I have, if it were not for experiences I have been through. I'm sure if I had handled some things differently, things would have been different now. But they each were played out depending on my attitude. Were they hard? Very. Is my heart a little scarred from the broken pieces I've been trying to scotch tape and glue back together? Very much. But, I know life isn't all bad. I know something great is out there. I look for small things that each day brings, even if its just the sun shining, or that my favorite song was on the radio, or someone said I looked nice, I look for the good and find them. I know there will be more challenges, but I'm excited to face them and when I am 99, I'm excited to see how strong of a person I have become.

Life is so wonderful. Don't let fear, sadness, or bitterness get in the way of making your life and your story as amazing as it can be. It goes too fast. In a blink it will be done. Live it to the very fullest. Laugh when you should cry. Smile when you should frown. Think the best "what-if" scenario when you should think the worst. Treat others with such kindness that you leave a smile on their face. You never know what their life is handing them. Try to learn how to better yourself anytime you're faced with a change, a trial, a heartache.

If you have to be sad or scared, don't let it consume you. Life is too short, too precious, too wonderful to let it be consumed by unhappiness.

Look on the brightside, trust in Heavenly Father-He loves you more than you are even close to being able to comphrehend, and learn to love yourself for who you are, learn to be an overall happy person.

Life is beautiful. It gives you the chance to learn, to dream anything you want, to grow, to love so much you think you could burst, to be surprised, to look at stars, to dance in the rain, to eat delicious things, to laugh til your sides burn and tears are pouring out your eyes, to help others. It gives you the chance to travel, to watch sunsets, to hear beautiful music and to see beautiful things, to see things that will blow your mind, and to stretch your imagination. It gives you the chance to make your story beautiful and to make it yours. Make it one you would read over and over and over and love each and every time.